NOTE FROM DAVE:

In July, a man in a homemade Superman costume started
attacking Detroit commuters. Now, a paunchy faux Batman has
scaled Buckingham Palace. It’s getting so you can barely tell
the real good guys from the fake ones anymore.

The Top 9 Signs You’re
Dealing With a Fake Superhero

9> Technically speaking, huge breasts are a prerequisite, not a super-power.

8> Bracelets? Check. Ample cleavage and supple skin? check. Star-spangled bodice? Check. Adam’s apple? Uh-oh.

7> First clue: The green finger-paint smeared on his face and the Hulk Underoos.

6> It may be sticky, but that ain’t web fluid.

5> Every attempt at flying ends with a sickening wet thud.

4> “Swamp Thing” keeps trying to bum a cigarette.

3> Yeah, well the real Wolverine wouldn’t be whining about an “owie!”

2> His secret lair? Mom’s basement.

and the Number 1 Sign You’re Dealing With a Fake Superhero…

1> He requires a pair of binoculars to activate his telescopic vision.

.

Credits:

Selected from 62 submissions from 17 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Chuck Burke, Phoenix, NY — 1, 5 (5th #1!)
Craig Israel, Cleveland, OH — 2, 9
Guy Payne, Birmingham, AL — 3
Alvaro Ibanez, Mexico City, Mexico — 4
Jeremy Bleichman, Fair Lawn, NJ — 6, 8
Scott Goudsward, Haverhill, MA — 7
Erik Deckers, Syracuse, IN — 8
Rabbi Crut, Bowling Green, OH — Topic
Scott Witmer, Hanover, PA — Runner Up list name
Dave Goudsward, Lake Worth, FL — Genuine Imitation