NOTE FROM DAVE:

Being married to a superhero is stressful — ask Lois Lane
or Mary Jane Watson-Parker. But imagine the stress of one
superhero married to another. And the track record is not
good: Janet Van Dyne and Hank Pym, Quicksilver and Crystal,
Scarlet Witch and the Vision. Even Sue and Reed Richards
have had problems (can you say Namor?)…

The Top 8 Signs Your
Super-Marriage is Failing

8> There are golden lasso burns on his wrists and on the bedposts, but you’re not Wonder Woman.

7> Things have been tense ever the menage-a-trois with you and your clone.

6> One morning you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and realize that the mysterious “cousin” who showed up at your bachelor party and pleaded with you to make her sign a pre-nup… was you.

5> There’s just something different about the way he says, “Yes, *Commissioner*?” lately. And a lot more mysterious hang-ups whenever *you* answer the hotline.

4> She says that technically, due to that “til death do us part” clause, you haven’t really been married for over ten years anyway.

3> You aren’t missing, wounded and/or assumed dead, but she and your estranged sidekick have been going on a lot more joint missions lately…

2> The lousy bastard uses his X-ray vision on everyone but you.

and the Number 1 Sign Your Super-Marriage is Failing…

1> Actually, it’s been over for a while. But you’ve stayed together for the sake of the kids — chiefly because they have a tendency to alter the fabric of the space-time continuum whenever they start feeling insecure.

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Credits:

Selected from 36 submissions from 9 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Neil Davidson, Mississauga, ON — 1, 4, 8 (2nd #1 / Hat trick!)
James T Booth, Roseburg OR — 2
Louise Freeman Davis, Charlottesville, VA — 3, 5, 6 (Hat trick!)
Eric Akawie, Burke, VA — 7
Douglas Ward, Haverhill, MA — 8
Dave Goudsward, Harrisburg, PA — Mild-Mannered Reporter