The Top 9 Signs Your
Secret Identity Isn’t a Secret

9> All your neighbors are suddenly renovating their bathrooms with lead-lined tile.

8> For the past few days your friends have all been coming up to you with little black masks covering their eyes and pretending they don’t know you, then walking away in hysterics.

7> As you leap a tall building, one of its tenants calls out the window, “Hi, Clark! Working on a story?”

6> Your editor still sends you to cover the all big overseas stories, but all of your airfare expense reports are returned with the words “Nice try, Cape-boy!” scrawled across them.

5> Complete strangers stop you on the street to ask if you know a good place to get capes dry-cleaned.

4> Your work as a window washer might be a better cover if you actually used the platform.

3> Frantic “I need your help” calls at midnight on your home phone from the President — and you’re not Dick Cheney.

2> “Good Morning, Mrs. Rosencranz. Can the Cosmic Avenger come out to play?”

and the Number 1 Sign Your Secret Identity Isn’t a Secret…

1> Utility belt? Check! Spandex uniform? Check! Cape? Check! Mask? D’oh!

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Credits:

Selected from 76 submissions from 14 contributors,
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Dave Hill, Centennial, OH — 1, 2, 3 (1st #1, Hat Trick!)
Marc Berard, Central Falls, RI — 4
Louise Freeman Davis, Charlottesville, VA — 5
Neil Davidson, Mississauga, ON — 6, 8, 9 (4th hat trick!)
Jennifer A. Ford, Fort Wayne, IN — 7
Dave Goudsward, Harrisburg, PA — Mild-Mannered Reporter