July 14th, 2006



NOTE FROM JENNIFER:
“X-Men United” referred to Class 3, 4,
and 5 mutants; the comics talk about
mystically-powerful, Omega-level
mutants. Then there’s you.


The Top 7 Signs Your Mutant
Power Won’t Get You Into the X-Men


7> The ability to morph into “What’s Happening” cast members may spook many a bad guy, but it lacks a certain punch.

6> You’ve got all the Nightcrawler “bamff” stench but none of the teleporting.

5> Your mutant power includes the ability to be generally happy with life.

4> Wolverine: 16-inch titanium claws. You: 2-millimeter hangnails on demand.

3> Your one power is to telekinetically cause wheelchairs to hurtle towards stairs, cliffs, ledges, etc.

2> Your name: “The Coroner.” Your power: To accurately determine whether someone is dead or not.

and the Number 1 Sign Your Mutant Power Won’t Get You Into the
X-Men

1> Your nickname, “20-20 Hindsight Man,” kind of gives it away.




.

Credits:

Selected from 50 submissions from 14 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Vic Vitek, Hopewell Junction, NY — 1, 3 (1st #1! Woohoo!)
Marc Berard, Central Falls, RI — 2
Doug Husovsky, Cave Creek, AZ — 4
Eric Rossing, Franklin, MA — 5
Bernard Donohue, Glendale, CA — 6
Eric Severstad, Neenah, WI — 7
Jim Manchester, Florence, AL — Topic
Jennifer Ford, Fort Wayne, IN — Mystery Woman