October 4th, 2002



The Top 10 Signs You Will Not Be
Joining the Justice League — Part 1


10> Your pet supermonkey has better detective skills than you do. And a way cooler costume.

9> “We know you’re proud of it, but it’s not a ‘power,’ it’s definitely not ’super,’ and the Viagra-and-Lucy-Liu-photograph ‘activation procedure’ isn’t very practical in battle anyway.”

8> Aquaman and Green Arrow have both publicly questioned the usefulness of your super-powers.

7> The audition was going great until the Atom ran by and you shrieked and stomped him flat.

6> Your commitment to “Truth, Justice and American Cheese” isn’t what they’re looking for right now.

5> Tricking your parents into letting you stay in their basement is *not* a super power.

4> Mask? Check. Cape? Check. Pants? Uh-oh….

3> Your most awe-inspiring method of transportation is being schlepped around in a bucket by a purple space monkey.

2> Both Wonder Woman and Plastic Man have restraining orders out on you.

and the Number 1 Sign You Will Not Be Joining the Justice
League…

1> Superman looked over your resume — with his heat vision.




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Credits:

Selected from 81 submissions from 21 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Marc Berard, Central Falls, RI — 1 (second #1)
Jack Scheer, Falls Church, VA — 2
Louise Freeman Davis, Charlottesville, VA — 3, 8
Chuck Burke, Phoenix, NY — 4
Steve Theberge, Plaistow, NH — 5
Bernard Donohue, Glendale, CA — 6
Neil Davidson, Mississauga, ON — 7
Marcelo Rinesi, Buenos Aires, Argentina — 9
Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL — 10
Dave Goudsward, Lake Worth, FL — Crusading Reporter