June 2nd, 2006
NOTE FROM JENNIFER:
Keeping track of two lives can be tough,
especially when one of them is totally
secret and your loved ones could be in
mortal danger if your identity were to
be revealed. But how would that happen?
especially when one of them is totally
secret and your loved ones could be in
mortal danger if your identity were to
be revealed. But how would that happen?
The Top 9 Secret Identity Faux Pas
9> The radical change in the costume was nice, but then you went and grew that silly-looking blonde beard!
8> No matter how much Obsession for Men you wear, you can never cover up the guano smell.
7> You show up at the hotel pool in your Speedo, boots and cape.
6> Good thing: Saving Hawaii from destruction. Bad thing: Forgetting that masks leave tan lines.
5> You bring your costume to the dry-cleaning service at work.
4> Bruce Banner should never have gone to the DMV.
3> While typing on a *CLICK!* particularly loud keyboard *KLACK!* giant sound effects keep popping up *SPACE BAR!* all around you.
2> “Damned gristly steak!” [Snikt!] “You didn’t see that, bub.”
and the Number 1 Secret Identity Faux Pas…
1> He seemed so harmless when you first took him under your wing, but now you’re REALLY regretting making “Chatty Gossip Lad” your sidekick.
.
Credits:
Selected from 52 submissions from 14 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:
Brian Pierce, Lynnwood, WA — 1 (9th #1!)
Guy Payne, Leeds, AL — 2, 4
Erik Sternberger, Fort Wayne, IN — 3
Marc Berard, Central Falls, RI — 5, 6
Doug Husovsky, Cave Creek, AZ — 5, 8
Matthew Pyle, Oklahoma City, OK — 7
Chuck Burke, Phoenix, NY — 9
Craig Israel, Cleveland, OH — Topic
Jennifer Ford, Fort Wayne, IN — Mystery Woman
RUNNERS UP list — Super Secret
Having the commissioner signal you with a light in the sky was a
good idea. Answering him the same way wasn’t.
(Vic Vitek, Hopewell Junction, NY)
Please remember: When in your secret identity, underwear goes on the inside.
(Random Jones, Brisbane, Australia)
“Pssst, Clark, you forgot to comb back your curl!”
(Guy Payne, Leeds, AL)
That subscription to “Kryptonian Home and Gardens” was probably a giveaway.
(Craig Israel, Cleveland, OH)
Your entire disguise consists of parting your hair on the other side.
(Mark David, Sunnyvale, CA)
(Vic Vitek, Hopewell Junction, NY)
Please remember: When in your secret identity, underwear goes on the inside.
(Random Jones, Brisbane, Australia)
“Pssst, Clark, you forgot to comb back your curl!”
(Guy Payne, Leeds, AL)
That subscription to “Kryptonian Home and Gardens” was probably a giveaway.
(Craig Israel, Cleveland, OH)
Your entire disguise consists of parting your hair on the other side.
(Mark David, Sunnyvale, CA)
