March 7th, 2008



NOTE FROM JENNIFER:
The DCU is about to go through its really and
for truly final Final Crisis. It looms! It’s
BIG! It’s gonna CHANGE EVERYTHING! Or not…


The Top 8 Rejected
Final Crisis Scenarios


8> Can America still look up to its heroes after the first wave of superhero reality shows?

7> Zatanna cannot work her magic because everyone is now forced to speak in palindromes.

6> In the shocking finale, all the Justice League is presented with the bill for property damage from last Crisis.

5> The IRS audits EVERYONE!

4> Due to a huge glitch, the various timelines are merged into one where everything ends up tasting like chicken.

3> “Well, we’ve pretty much trashed the DC Universe. Can we make this into a crossover with Marvel and bring them down with us?”

2> If the Teen Titans don’t stop goofing off, they’ll never pass their finals!

and the Number 1 Rejected Final Crisis Scenario…

1> “Jor-El, wake up. I just had the weirdest dream…”




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Credits:

Selected from 33 submissions from 11 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Matt Van Opens, Watertown, WI — 1, 3 (15th #1!)
Tom Galloway, Mountain View, CA — 2
Vic Vitek, Hopewell Junction, NY — 4, 7
Sally Van Opens, Watertown, WI — 5
Marc Berard, Central Falls, RI — 6, 8
Jennifer Ford, Chicago, IL — Mystery Woman