The Top 7 Pet Peeves of Batman(Part III)

7> All the stares when it’s time for the annual emissions test on the Batmobile.

6> Having to keep a straight face when the Riddler or Joker actually tell a good joke.

5> Trying to live down that Adam West interpretation.

4> “Not tonight, dear; I have a hairball.”

3> [...]

NOTE FROM JENNIFER:

Dark and brooding… brooding and dark.

The Top 7 Pet Peeves of Batman(Part II)

7> When Black Canary calls him “Mr. Grumpypants” at JLA meetings.

6> Cemeteries don’t refund your money if the dead sidekick comes back to life.

5> Never got his royalties from “The Superfriends.”

4> [...]

NOTE FROM JENNIFER:

It’s tough being the Dark Knight.

The Top 7 Pet Peeves of Batman (Part I)

7> The deplorable lack of giant household appliances atop which to fight villains.

6> Although he always solves the Riddler’s riddles, he doesn’t really get the Joker’s jokes.

5> Constantly being reminded that he has [...]

The Top 8 Songs From the Hit Musical “RETCON!”

8> “76 Retcons”

7> “Get Me to the Crisis on Time”

6> “Meeting for the First Time Yet Again”

5> “Send in the Clones”

4> “Anything You Used to Do, You Now Can’t Do (Better)”

3> “Look at Me, I’m THE Jim Lee”

2> “I Loved You When You Were [...]

NOTE FROM JENNIFER:

I mean, besides Michael Phelps who is clearly Aquaman.

The Top 7 Signs a Olympic Athlete Is a Superhero in Disguise

7> “Sir, once again, the event is parallel bars, not parallel universes!”

6> Keeps referring to the Russian judges as “a cowardly and superstitious lot.”

5> The Powerpuff [...]

The Top 9 Differences If Shakespeare Wrote Comics

9> Prospero and Miranda are rescued from the enchanted island by the sidekick formerly known as Aqualad.

8> “Et tu, Joker?”

7> All superheroines are played by dudes.

6> “Verily, it doth be the hour of clobbering!”

5> “Up, UP and Yonder!”

4> “A Death in the Family” includes [...]

NOTE FROM JENNIFER:

A British religious group has criticized Mattel’s new Black Canary Barbie doll, calling it “filth.” Clearly, they just don’t know awesome when they see it.

The Top 9 Signs Barbie Is Secretly a Kick-Ass Superheroine

9> Her Malibu Beach House is suddenly replaced by the Fortress of Solitude.

8> Latest Barbie accessories: a compact [...]

The Top 9 Courses at a Superhero College

9> PHYSICS 101: How Not to Tear a Hole in the Fabric of the Universe

8> DISGUISE 101: How to Make and Keep a Secret Identity (course fee includes cost of comb and glasses)

7> SEMINAR: How to Make “Talks to Fish,” “Bounces Like a Ball,” and “Turns [...]

The Top 8 Rejected Hellboy II Merchandising Tie-Ins

8> Hellboy-Red Sunless Bronzer.

7> Rejected merch? None! del Toro is getting on the George Lucas train and is going to clean up!

6> Liz Sherman action figure and barbeque lighter.

5> “James Dobson and Focus on the Family proudly present…”

4> Lovecraftaroni and Cheese.

3> Li’l Sapien Sea Monkeys.

2> McDonald’s McHellboy™.

and [...]

NOTE FROM JENNIFER:

Perhaps you’ve heard of this new film coming out? I understand it stars a man who dresses up as a bat to fight crime. What will they think up next?

The Top 7 Surprises in “The Dark Knight”

7> The Joker communicates entirely in knock-knock jokes.

6> [...]