NOTE FROM DAVE:

Every year, our comic book prognosticators wipe
the Hostess Fruit Pie stains off their crystal
balls and peer into the murky future…

The Top 10 Comic
Book Resolutions for 2003

10> Stan Lee: Sit in secret lair. Brood. Throw back head. Laugh maniacally. Repeat as necessary.

9> Billy Batson: Stop using the power of seven ancient deities to get into R-rated movies.

8> Galactus: Not to eat planets highly populated by saturated fat beings.

7> Wolverine: Call all ex-lovers. Politely ask if they could possibly not try to kill me again this year.

6> Dinah Lance: Call Sara Pezzini. Hunt down and destroy our TV “look-alikes.” Then go and bomb the casting agency. If Batman complains, mention Val Kilmer to him.

5> Mephisto: Introduce even more “Hello Kitty” merchandise. Repeat as necessary until the entire planet slips into a diabetic coma.

4> Batman: Continue waging hopeless one-man war to hold back the never-ending tide of crime and darkness in the name of justice and vengeance, even if it’s at the price of my own sanity. And maybe try to squeeze in some more “me time.”

3> Frank Miller: Get in on this “anime craze” by writing dark, gritty “Pokemon Year One.”

2> Doctor Strange: Determine once and for all what sort of supernatural abomination Michael Jackson is.

and the Number 1 Comic Book Resolution for 2003…

1> Jean Grey: To get through a year without dying again.

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Credits:

Selected from 42 submissions from 12 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Guy Payne, Birmingham, AL — 1 (2nd #1)
Arthur Levesque, Laurel, MD — 2, 3
Brad Wilkerson, El Sobrante, CA — 4
Douglas Ward, Harrisburg, PA — 5
Marcelo Rinesi, Buenos Aires, Argentina — 6, 7
Eric Wakeford, Niagara Falls ON — 8
Louise Freeman Davis, Charlottesville, VA — 9
Reverend Smith, Portland, OR — 10
Dave Goudsward, Lake Worth, FL — Father Time