NOTE FROM BRANDON:

From free meals offered by a campus
organization to five-fingering a soda in
our pocket, we learn to work the system
from our first day…

The Top 6 Ways You Have
Learned to Work the System

6> The blood bank limits how often you can deposit, but the sperm bank doesn’t.

5> Cut off a foot. Park in the handicapped spot.

4> If you abuse it too much, you’ll go blind.

3> Those bins full of cereal in the cafeteria are about the same size as the gallon-sized Ziploc bag in my pocket.

2> It’s amazing what the chancellor will do to keep your impregnating his grand-daughter “our little secret,” isn’t it?

and the Number 1 Way You Have Learned to Work the System…

1> “Learned to abuse the system?!?! Hell, I’m teaching a class on it for credit, *and* they’re giving me a stipend.”

.

Credits:

Selected from 37 submissions from 10 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Gary Reynolds, Indiana University — 1,2,3 (Triple Sec! 4th #1!)
Erik Deckers, Ball State University — 4
Peter Casper, Queensland University
of Technology — 5, 6
John Shurniak, University of Regina — Banner tag
Brandon Eldridge, St. Louis College
of Pharmacy — RA on Duty