July 6th, 2007
The Top 7 Signs You’re
Not the Big Man on Campus
Not the Big Man on Campus
7> Every conversation starts with, “You haven’t mastered advanced calculus? What an idiot.”
6> You neither consume alcohol nor possess a valid drivers license.
5> Bulging biceps and back muscles? Check. Masculine jaw and blue-steel eyes? Check. Your name? Cindy.
4> You bring Zima to every frat party.
3> Blasting music from your dorm room may make you “the man,” but not if that music is Billy Ray Cyrus.
2> The details remain confidential, but there was a sheep involved.
and the Number 1 Sign You’re Not the Big Man on Campus…
1> You get the number one list item on the Top5 College mailing every week.
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Credits:
Selected from 57 submissions from 12 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:
Brandon Eldridge, St. Louis College — 1 (3rd #1!)
Audra Whitton, Northern Virginia CC — 2
Brett Campbell, Millikin University — 3
Mike Klauss, Cleveland State University — 4, 7
Gideon Griebenow, Potchefstroom University — 5, RU list name
Rabbi Crut, BGSU — 6
Danny Gallagher, UT Austin — List Moderator, RA
RUNNERS UP list — Not Man Enough
When you walk down the hall, every RA gives you a high five.
(Brandon Eldridge, St. Louis College of Pharmacy)
You’re a star athlete, but nobody pays attention to the fencing team, Chester.
(Guy Payne, Auburn University)
The chess team routinely kicks the everloving crap out of you.
(Geoff Brown, University of Michigan)
You actually attend all your classes.
(Audra Whitton, Northern Virginia Community College)
The Trojan company has hired you as spokesmodel for their “College Boy” petite size, light duty, long storage life condoms.
(James Knowles, Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo)
Everybody jumps out of your way when the cafeteria opens.
(Guy Payne, Auburn University)
The only time you’ve actually managed to get laid was while being choreographed by Snoop Dogg.
(Kevin van Houten, University of Texas)
You defend your views with the phrase, “I’m saving myself until marriage.”
(Brandon Eldridge, St. Louis College of Pharmacy)
(Brandon Eldridge, St. Louis College of Pharmacy)
You’re a star athlete, but nobody pays attention to the fencing team, Chester.
(Guy Payne, Auburn University)
The chess team routinely kicks the everloving crap out of you.
(Geoff Brown, University of Michigan)
You actually attend all your classes.
(Audra Whitton, Northern Virginia Community College)
The Trojan company has hired you as spokesmodel for their “College Boy” petite size, light duty, long storage life condoms.
(James Knowles, Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo)
Everybody jumps out of your way when the cafeteria opens.
(Guy Payne, Auburn University)
The only time you’ve actually managed to get laid was while being choreographed by Snoop Dogg.
(Kevin van Houten, University of Texas)
You defend your views with the phrase, “I’m saving myself until marriage.”
(Brandon Eldridge, St. Louis College of Pharmacy)
