The Top 8 Signs You’re
Not a Big Man on Campus

8> You work in the computer lab or library. Or worse, both.

7> Campus security escorts you from one class to another.

6> Sure, they all know your name, but having every girl on the Women’s Wrestling Team slap a restraining order on you is not improving your popularity.

5> “Look, you’re a great guy, but I need someone who understands my needs. You know, someone who does my homework for FREE.”

4> Your class president campaign slogan: “Let’s All Study a Little Harder.”

3> Aren’t male cheerleaders supposed to wear *pants*?

2> When your bragging to all your frat buddies all you ever have to say is, “Well, I *am* the moderator of my own TopFive list….”

and the Number 1 Sign You’re Not a Big Man on Campus…

1> When it comes to girls, it’s all survey and no lab.

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Credits:

Selected from 40 submissions from 8 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Warrick Davis, college unknown — 1, 5
(1st #1! Toga! Toga!)
Brandon Eldridge, St. Louis College — 2, Runner Up list name
Scott Witmer, Penn State — 3, 4
James Knowles, Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo — 6
Iris Giannakis, Northeastern Illinois U. — 7
David J. Ludwig, California State — 8
Danny Gallagher, UT Austin — List Moderator, RA
Carly Simon, New York, NY — Ambience