February 3, 2006     

People don’t kill people… cats do.

The Top 5 Signs Your
Roommate’s Pet Wants to Kill You

5> The cat keeps “accidentally” hitting the speed-dial for your
girlfriend while other women are visiting.

4> “REDRUM”… spelled out in litterbox droppings.

3> Every time your roommate looks the other way, Fluffy makes a
slashing gesture across its throat with its paw.

2> He’s a cat.

and the Number 1 Sign Your Roommate’s Pet Wants to Kill You…

1> “Presents,” my ass; those dead birdie-heads on my pillow are
a warning.

.

Credits:

Selected from 23 submissions from 8 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Audra Whitton, Northern Virginia Community College — 1, 4, Topic
Gary Reynolds, Indiana University — 1
James Knowles, Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo — 2
Derek Matheis, University of New Haven — 3
Andrew Hackard, UT-Austin — 5
Brandon Eldridge, St. Louis College of Pharmacy — RA on Duty

RUNNERS UP list — Dead Wrong

Ever since you stepped out of the shower and told the dog, “Hey,
look what I still have!” it growls whenever you walk by.

(Andrew Hackard, UT-Austin)

You find him sharpening his claws… with a kitchen knife.

(Audra Whitton, Northern Virginia Community College)

Runners Up list name

(G. Griebenow, Potchefstroom University)