April 2, 2001     

The Top 9 Signs Your RA is Losing It

9> She builds a small army of Lego robots to defeat the janitor.

8> Holds weekly “tribal council” to vote out dorm residents.

7> Weekly hall newsletter replaced with him painting the news
backwards on his chest and violently slamming himself into
resident’s doors.

6> Swears cockfights are being held in basement boiler room
at 4 AM.

5> Apparently, he thinks RA stands for Rodent Advisor, since
he only talks to the mice that infest the building.

4> Because, uh well… because… uh… Well, because he’s
an RA, dammit!

3> What were once called “quiet hours” are now called
“Listen Carefully While RA Dave Skins a Live Goat” hours.

2> Rifle? Check.
Lawn Chair? Check.
Cooler full of sandwiches? Check.
Sitting on top of the dorm with binoculars and class
schedules? Uh-oh.

and the Number 1 Sign Your RA is Losing It…

1> Her advice for any problem? “Use the Force.”

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Credits:

Selected from 22 submissions by 9 contributors.
Today’s Little Fiver authors are:

Charlie Galindo, School of Hard Knocks — 1 (Woo-hoo!)
Bryan Koval, Penn State — 2, 3, 7 (Rookie!/ Hat Trick!)
Ed Smith, UT Chattanooga — 4
Nate Arnold, Hamilton College — 4 (Honorary co-credit)
Jason Jones, whereabouts unknown — 5
Wade Kwon, Cornell University — 6, 8
Mike Budzinski, Purdue University — 9
Madeline Sato, Kirkland College — Topic, List moderator
Laurie Northrup, Hamilton College — List editor
Gail Celio, University of Georgia — Last week’s topic
(Sorry, Gail!)