June 22nd, 2007
The Top 7 Signs Your Online
Program Isn’t Quite Up to Snuff
Program Isn’t Quite Up to Snuff
7> It eschews both evolution and creationism in favor of “flying spaghetti monsterism.”
6> Cool! I didn’t know there *was* such a thing as “Doctor of Thinkology!”
5> All your papers, quizzes and exams must be sent by snail mail.
4> Your final exam consists of creating a Photoshop diploma.
3> The word processing program is free, but it costs a fortune to upgrade to any non-Klingon font.
2> The fine print says, “Fully accredited by my cat, Mr. Boots.”
and the Number 1 Sign Your Online Program Isn’t Quite Up to Snuff…
1> Professor starts every class by verifying you are participating in only your underwear.
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Credits:
Selected from 38 submissions from 11 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:
Mark Sweatt, Student Emeritus, Atlanta — 1, 4, 5 (12th #1!/Triple Sec!)
Douglas Frank, West Texas A & M University — 2, 5, 6 (Triple Sec!), Topic, Banner tag
James Knowles, Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo — 3
Hope Roth, Trinity College — 5, 7
Brandon Eldridge, StL College of Pharmacy — Dean of Students
RUNNERS UP list — Tech-NO-logy
Final exam for the class involves closing all the pop-up banners
from your website in under 30 minutes.
(Josh Sinnett, University of Washington)
Online course outline contains instructions and direct link for depositing money in the Professor’s PayPal account.
(David J. Ludwig, CSU San Marcos)
Part of your Zoology degree includes an optional trip to the North Pole to see penguins in their natural habitat.
(Audra Whitton, Northern Virginia Community College)
The “supplemental material” for your history class is a homemade video of someone “fighting” a bunch of green plastic army men against a bunch of gray plastic army men while making “doosh! doosh!” and “pa-da-da-da-schwinggg!” noises.
(Douglas Frank, West Texas A & M University)
Runners Up list name
(Douglas Frank, West Texas A & M University)
(Josh Sinnett, University of Washington)
Online course outline contains instructions and direct link for depositing money in the Professor’s PayPal account.
(David J. Ludwig, CSU San Marcos)
Part of your Zoology degree includes an optional trip to the North Pole to see penguins in their natural habitat.
(Audra Whitton, Northern Virginia Community College)
The “supplemental material” for your history class is a homemade video of someone “fighting” a bunch of green plastic army men against a bunch of gray plastic army men while making “doosh! doosh!” and “pa-da-da-da-schwinggg!” noises.
(Douglas Frank, West Texas A & M University)
Runners Up list name
(Douglas Frank, West Texas A & M University)
HONORABLE MENTIONS list — Dial ‘M’ for Muddled
Degree is from “Harry Potter and the University of Phoenix”
(Rabbi Crut, BGSU)
Freshman Comp online? Okay. Chem I online? Maybe. But, Modern Dance online?!?
(Douglas Frank, West Texas A & M University)
Hey they have that “can you draw this dog” course online. I’m taking that!
(Jeff Rabinowitz, Temple University)
Honorable Mentions list name
(Douglas Frank, West Texas A & M University)
(Rabbi Crut, BGSU)
Freshman Comp online? Okay. Chem I online? Maybe. But, Modern Dance online?!?
(Douglas Frank, West Texas A & M University)
Hey they have that “can you draw this dog” course online. I’m taking that!
(Jeff Rabinowitz, Temple University)
Honorable Mentions list name
(Douglas Frank, West Texas A & M University)
