November 19, 2004     

NOTE FROM BRANDON:

Please don’t sic the field hockey team on me –
“Signs Your Boyfriend Isn’t as Hot as You May Think”
is already in the works!

The Top 7 Signs Your
Girlfriend Isn’t as Hot as You May Think

7> Every time you two go on a walk, vultures seem to be
hovering over her.

6> The pictures you posted at mynakedgirlfriend.com only have
five hits.

5> Perhaps it’s the delicate way her eating reminds you of
slopping the hogs.

4> When she gets into bed with you, she immediately puts a paper
bag over her head.

3> She went a little bit crazy with her implants — and it’s
really hard to find a three-cup bra.

2> Defending your girl at parties consists of saying “Don’t touch
the fat chick.”

and the Number 1 Sign Your Girlfriend Isn’t as Hot as You May
Think…

1> Even the Engineering majors don’t hit on her.

.

Credits:

Selected from 77 submissions from 15 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Scott Witmer, Penn State — 1 (17th #1!)
Brett Campbell, Millikin University — 2, HM name
Veronique DuBeaumarchais, Cal Poly — 3
John Shurniak, University of Regina — 4, 7
Guy Payne, Auburn University — 5, RU name
Mark Sweatt, Student Emeritus - Atlanta — 6
Brandon Eldridge, St. Louis College of Pharmacy — RA on Duty
Nick Dryer, St. Louis College of Pharmacy — Topic
Ethan Hawke, Hollywood, California — Ambience