February 1st, 2008



The Top 9 Signs Your
Fraternity Brother Is a Deity
(Part II)


9> He spends a lot of time with the virgins.

8> You drive the brand new BMW 7-series your parents bought you. Him? Chariot of Fire.

7> One time at this really ragin’ party, he turned into a swan and seduced a cheerleader. Either he’s Zeus or I got some bad acid.

6> The water fountains spout so much wine, the government is trying to force him to pay excise taxes.

5> How else did the chess team captain get into a fraternity?

4> He gets out of bed in the late afternoon, stays out all night drinking, and has carnal relations with anything that moves, yet he maintains a 4.0 grade average AND a clean bill of health.

3> It’s the least disturbing explanation for why he keeps caressing a swan.

2> Cited himself 37 times in his Philosophy of Religion term paper.

and the Number 1 Sign Your Fraternity Brother Is a Deity…

1> He’s the captain of the school’s Intramural Smiting Team.




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Credits:

Selected from 35 submissions from 12 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Erik Deckers, Ball State University — 1, 2 (Woo-Hoo!)
Andrew Hackard, UT-Austin — 3
Michele Lord, U of NE Lincoln — 4, 5, 7 (Triple Sec!)
Gary Reynolds, Indiana University — 6, 8
Mark Sweatt, Student Emeritus, Atlanta — 9
Brandon Eldridge, StL College of Pharm. — Dean of Students