January 25th, 2008



The Top 9 Signs Your
Fraternity Brother Is a Deity
(Part I)


9> He’s feeling up three girls at once.

8> After you switched your lousy term paper with his great one, your room gets invaded with locusts.

7> Unwashed hair, sgraggly beard, walks everywhere, he’s either pious or a freshman.

6> He makes PeeWee Herman look studly, yet every female within 200 miles wants to jump him.

5> During freshman orientation, the frat sponsors a party where all of the virgins are given to him in a ritual sacrifice.

4> His name is Jesus.

3> The last time he got angry at a pledge, the campus was invaded by frogs.

2> He defies physical laws by not being hungover the morning after drinking 3 6-packs, smoked pot, and did ecstasy.

and the Number 1 Sign Your Fraternity Brother Is a Deity…

1> Girls who have sex with him are *cured* of all STDs. At least, that’s what he tells them.




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Credits:

Selected from 35 submissions from 12 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

James Knowles, Cal Poly — 1, 6 (Woo-Hoo!)
Jeff Rabinowitz, Temple University — 2, 8
Hope Roth, Trinity College — 2, 5
Jim Phynn, Georgetown University — 3, 5
Douglas Frank, West Texas A & M University — 4, Banner tag
Erik Deckers, Ball State University — 5
David J. Ludwig, CSU San Marcos — 6
Mark Sweatt, Student Emeritus, Atlanta — 7
Andrew Hackard, UT-Austin — 9
Brandon Eldridge, StL College of Pharmacy — Dean of Students



RUNNERS UP list — Super? Naturally!

Everyone else slips on the beer-covered basement floor. He walks on top of the mold and grime with ease.
(Nick Dryer, StL College of Pharmacy)

Your ass was blistered and bruised after initiation. His ass broke 15 paddles and wore out everyone else’s arm.
(Jakub Borek, University of Illinois)


Runners Up list name
(Douglas Frank, West Texas A & M University)