March 28th, 2008
NOTE FROM BRANDON:
Please donate to the memorial funds for the
Virginia Tech shootings at http://www.recovery.vt.edu/victims_funds.html
and the Northern Illinois University shootings at
http://www.niu.edu/memorial/scholarships.shtml
Virginia Tech shootings at http://www.recovery.vt.edu/victims_funds.html
and the Northern Illinois University shootings at
http://www.niu.edu/memorial/scholarships.shtml
The Top 8 Signs Your
Campus Needs Tighter Security
Campus Needs Tighter Security
8> The officers routinely rent out the master keys to all the sororities.
7> Every dorm room comes with optional theft insurance.
6> When you’re party gets busted, the officers take you around town and only call you “McLovin.”
5> You overhear an administrator saying, “We need Jack Bauer over here as soon as possible!”
4> Average SAT score: 731.
3> You’re home-schooled and there have been 3 riots the last week involving teachers, students and Molotov cocktails.
2> The security phones around campus are just tin cans and a string.
and the Number 1 Sign Your Campus Needs Tighter Security…
1> Your dealer makes you come to him because he “doesn’t feel safe” on campus.
.
Credits:
Selected from 36 submissions from 9 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:
Hope Roth, Trinity College — 1, 7
Derek Matheis, University of New Haven — 2
G. Griebenow, Potchefstroom University — 3
Mark Sweatt, Student Emeritus, Atlanta — 4
Jim Phynn, Georgetown University — 5
Gary Reynolds, Indiana University — 6, 8
Brandon Eldridge, StL College of Pharmacy — Dean of Students
RUNNERS UP list — Insecure
A mob of ax wielding psychos broke into the bookstore and forced
them to sell text books at reasonable prices.
(James Knowles, Cal Poly)
The school endowment is dwindling because they had to repurchase the computer lab on eBay.
(Derek Matheis, University of New Haven)
Gangs have started running to the campus instead of their hide-out areas when police are around.
(G. Griebenow, Potchefstroom University)
At least once a month, flyers go up all over campus: “C’mon guys, this isn’t funny anymore. Just bring the guns back to the ROTC armory, no questions asked.”
(Andrew Hackard, UT-Austin)
Runners Up list name
(G. Griebenow, Potchefstroom University)
(James Knowles, Cal Poly)
The school endowment is dwindling because they had to repurchase the computer lab on eBay.
(Derek Matheis, University of New Haven)
Gangs have started running to the campus instead of their hide-out areas when police are around.
(G. Griebenow, Potchefstroom University)
At least once a month, flyers go up all over campus: “C’mon guys, this isn’t funny anymore. Just bring the guns back to the ROTC armory, no questions asked.”
(Andrew Hackard, UT-Austin)
Runners Up list name
(G. Griebenow, Potchefstroom University)
