The Top 8 Signs You Aren’t
Going to Make the Varsity Team

8> You get winded after roll-call.

7> When you tried out for the synchronized swimming team, you refused to get in the pool without your water wings and Donald Duck inner tube.

6> The letterman jacket they handed you has a picture of Paul Schaffer on the back.

5> The wrestling coach just didn’t appreciate your homemade costume, complete with sparkly cape and sequined logo.

4> You may be able to outrun the cops when streaking, but having to wear clothes is putting a damper on your track and field times.

3> Unfortunately, your school doesn’t have a pie-eating contest team.

2> Tonsil hockey is not yet a recognized sport.

and the Number 1 Sign You Aren’t Going to Make the Varsity
Team…

1> No disrespect, Mr. Hawking, but….

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Credits:

Selected from 54 submissions from 10 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Gideon Griebenow, Potchefstroom University — 1, 8 (2nd #1!)
Natalie Shiskowski, Penn State University — 2
Brett Campbell, Millikin University — 3
James E. Cooper, Upsala College — 4, 6
Hope Roth, Trinity College — 5
Michele Lord, U of NE Lincoln — 7
Danny Gallagher, UT Austin — List Moderator, RA
Taking Back Sunday, Amityville, NY — Ambience