NOTE FROM DANNY:

This is the first list that is being moderated by
College Life Little Fiver’s new editor, Danny
Gallagher, who is taking over for Laurie Northup who’s
studying rudeness and Jerry Lewis appreciation in
Paris at the La Sorbonne. So let’s all make him
feel welcome by pretending that this week’s list
is really funny and that there are no grammatical
or spelling errors in it whatsoever. Speaking of
which, here’s this week’s topic…

The Top 8 Signs That You Are
Attending a Private University

8> The school provides both student parking spaces and student hangar spaces.

7> A school excursion involves chartering the Concorde.

6> It’s noon in the cafeteria when you hear someone yell, “Crumpet fight!!”

5> Enrollment in the Young Republicans club is mandatory.

4> You are required to acquire a funny accent in your freshman year, or you will not be allowed use of the private yachts or beaches.

3> Your parents are the ones eating Ramen Noodles for meals twice a day.

2> You’ve got bad math grades since you’re paying about five times more for the same level of education.

and the Number 1 Signs That You Are Attending a Private
University…

1> Even the campus Taco Bell has ivy growing on it.

.

Credits:

Selected from 22 submissions from 8 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Wade Kwon, Cornell University — 1, 6
Craig D. Barker, University of Michigan — 2
G. Mike Klockow, Purdue University — 4
Peter Casper, Queensland U. of Technology — 7, 8
Danny Gallagher, UT Austin — 3, 5, List Moderator
Laurie Northrup, Paris IV/La Sorbonne — Topic
Sir Thurston Snurdly Jr. IV, Esq. — Yachting Club
President