September 14th, 2007



The Top 9 Secrets You Hope
Your College Friends Never Find Out


9> You can name all past and present members of the Wiggles.

8> You don’t like the effects of alcohol.

7> “So what if I like the feel of satin against my skin. Does that automatically make me a freak?”

6> You put a Hello Kitty sticker on the inside of your protective cup.

5> You actually *like* the cafeteria food.

4> You weren’t sick last weekend. You stayed in to play D and D with your high school friends.

3> You registered to vote… Republican.

2> You didn’t really sleep with the professor…you actually studied.

and the Number 1 Secret You Hope Your College Friends Never Find Out…

1> Remember that time you were eight, and you got your winky stuck in a Coke bottle… in Sunday School?




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Credits:

Selected from 34 submissions from 8 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Douglas Frank, West Texas A & M U — 1, Topic, Banner tag
Mark Sweatt, Student Emeritus, Atlanta — 2, 3, 8, 9 (Triple
Sec!)
Michele Lord, U of NE Lincoln — 2
Hope Roth, Trinity College — 4, 5
James Knowles, Cal Poly — 6
Stephen A. Segall, Shaman U. — 7
Brandon Eldridge, StL College of Pharmacy — Dean of Students



RUNNERS UP list — Jekyll and Hide

That you have a court order prohibiting you from ever auditioning for American Idol again.
(Douglas Frank, West Texas A & M University)

That you’ve got a DWI on your record — from when you were eleven.
(Douglas Frank, West Texas A & M University)

You were constantly picked on by your high school bully; even though you were a senior, and he was a freshman.
(Jeff Rabinowitz, Temple University)

You’ve never been so turned on by Britney as you are lately.
(Stephen A. Segall, Shaman U.)

Your mom still proofreads all of your papers.
(Hope Roth, Trinity College)


Runners Up list name
(Douglas Frank, West Texas A & M University)