January 6th, 2006
NOTE FROM BRANDON:
Happy New Year, folks!
I sincerely hope everyone makes a resolution and keeps it,
unlike every college student in America who vows to regain
one morsel of that high school pride he once had.
I sincerely hope everyone makes a resolution and keeps it,
unlike every college student in America who vows to regain
one morsel of that high school pride he once had.
The Top 7 Resolutions Made
and Broken by College Students
and Broken by College Students
7> I will try to to keep the number of emergency room visits due to alcohol poisoning under two.
6> I will pay attention in class to something other than the way my teacher’s breasts jiggle.
5> I will point my telescope to the stars, not the freshman women’s dorm.
4> I will use the turkey baster solely for culinary purposes.
3> I will study early and often.
2> I will always remember to ask what her name is *before* sex. Or at least after.
and the Number 1 Resolution Made and Broken by College Students…
1> I will lose the freshman 15. And the sophomore 8.
.
Credits:
Selected from 34 submissions from 8 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:
David J. Ludwig, CSU San Marcos — 1, 3, 4, 6 (Triple Sec!/12th #1!)
Mark Sweatt, Student Emeritus, Atlanta — 2
Andrew Hackard, UT-Austin — 2
Guy Payne, Auburn University — 5
Jeff Rabinowitz, Temple University, Philadelphia — 7
Brandon Eldridge, St. Louis College of Pharmacy — RA on Duty
RUNNERS UP list — Irresolute
I will attend class sober.
(Mark Sweatt, Student Emeritus, Atlanta)
I will declare a major by my fourth senior year.
(Kevin van Houten, Texas, University of Texas)
I will get laid this year… by a human.
(David J. Ludwig, CSU San Marcos)
I will not fall victim to beer goggles anymore.
(David J. Ludwig, CSU San Marcos)
I will vote.
(Mark Sweatt, Student Emeritus, Atlanta)
Runners Up list name
(Andrew Hackard, UT-Austin)
(Mark Sweatt, Student Emeritus, Atlanta)
I will declare a major by my fourth senior year.
(Kevin van Houten, Texas, University of Texas)
I will get laid this year… by a human.
(David J. Ludwig, CSU San Marcos)
I will not fall victim to beer goggles anymore.
(David J. Ludwig, CSU San Marcos)
I will vote.
(Mark Sweatt, Student Emeritus, Atlanta)
Runners Up list name
(Andrew Hackard, UT-Austin)
HONORABLE MENTIONS list — Failure
I will stop going out with the lunch lady.
(David J. Ludwig, CSU San Marcos)
I will turn off MTV and turn on PBS.
(Mark Sweatt, Student Emeritus, Atlanta)
I wll get elected captain of the football team, maintain my 4.00 GPA, date other girls beside the cheerleaders, continue having lunch with the dean every Thursday and kick this hallucinogen habit.
(James Knowles, Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo)
Iwilltrytoodrinklessthan10RedBullsaday.
(Jeff Rabinowitz, Temple University, Philadelphia, Pa)
(David J. Ludwig, CSU San Marcos)
I will turn off MTV and turn on PBS.
(Mark Sweatt, Student Emeritus, Atlanta)
I wll get elected captain of the football team, maintain my 4.00 GPA, date other girls beside the cheerleaders, continue having lunch with the dean every Thursday and kick this hallucinogen habit.
(James Knowles, Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo)
Iwilltrytoodrinklessthan10RedBullsaday.
(Jeff Rabinowitz, Temple University, Philadelphia, Pa)
