July 13th, 2007
NOTE FROM BRANDON:
Happy Friday the 13th, everybody! Instead
of talking about spooky, scary stuff,
we’re gonna talk about blowin’ junk up…
of talking about spooky, scary stuff,
we’re gonna talk about blowin’ junk up…
The Top 9 Reasons to Ban
Fireworks Sales to College Students
Fireworks Sales to College Students
9> Your frat brother “Seven Fingers” seems to think it’s a good idea.
8> Testosterone filled young adults, binge drinking, explosives. What could possibly go wrong?
7> They can be made into crude IED’s for the teachers’ parking lot.
6> The frightening new fad of attempting to light farts and fireworks simultaneously.
5> Because then the terrorists have won.
4> The local ER has insisted upon it.
3> Headline in the campus newspaper: World’s Largest Black Snake Fills Chem Lab Hallways for Third Straight Day!
2> What? You mean local authorities need a *REASON* to annoy college students?
and the Number 1 Reason to Ban Fireworks Sales to College Students…
1> Because the world cannot take another butt-launched bottle-rocket video on YouTube.
.
Credits:
Selected from 35 submissions from 11 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:
James Knowles, Cal Poly — 1, 2, 8 (Triple Sec!)
Michele Lord, U of NE Lincoln — 3
David J. Ludwig, CSU San Marcos — 4, 8, 9 (Triple Sec!)
Douglas Frank, West Texas A & M — 5, Banner tag
Joseph Terranova, Wayne State — 6
Jeff Rabinowitz, Temple University — 7
Derek Matheis, University of New Haven — 9
Brandon Eldridge, StL College of Pharm. — Dean of Students
RUNNERS UP list — Lotsa punks
Because of the city ordinance following last year’s bottle
rocket/wet t-shirt contest fiasco.
(Douglas Frank, West Texas A & M University)
“Beer bomb, beer bong. You say to-may-to, I say to-mah-to.”
(Erik Deckers, Ball State University)
“Check out these candles I got for the toga party. They’re Roman, or something.”
(Erik Deckers, Ball State University)
Nerdy freshmen + rowdy senior frat boys + bottle rockets = New definition for “cramming” for a test.
(Larry Richardson, Harvey Mudd College)
That annoying kid who always knows the answers in class? Instead of raising his hand, he’s now sending up flares.
(Michele Lord, U of NE Lincoln)
They can’t pass basic chemistry, so why should be allowed to handle explosive chemicals?
(Danny Gallagher, UT Austin)
Runners Up list name
(Douglas Frank, West Texas A & M University)
(Douglas Frank, West Texas A & M University)
“Beer bomb, beer bong. You say to-may-to, I say to-mah-to.”
(Erik Deckers, Ball State University)
“Check out these candles I got for the toga party. They’re Roman, or something.”
(Erik Deckers, Ball State University)
Nerdy freshmen + rowdy senior frat boys + bottle rockets = New definition for “cramming” for a test.
(Larry Richardson, Harvey Mudd College)
That annoying kid who always knows the answers in class? Instead of raising his hand, he’s now sending up flares.
(Michele Lord, U of NE Lincoln)
They can’t pass basic chemistry, so why should be allowed to handle explosive chemicals?
(Danny Gallagher, UT Austin)
Runners Up list name
(Douglas Frank, West Texas A & M University)
