January 27th, 2006





NOTE FROM BRANDON:
Recently, AXE Bodyspray sponsored a contest
promising a bathroom makeover to the fraternity house
with the dirtiest bathroom in America. The winners?
Lambda Chi Alpha of the University of Oklahoma.
Congrats, guys, you’re all disgusting.


The Top 6 Perks of
Having Your Shower Pimped


6> Finally, something to do with that extra spinner rim.

5> The tap has three settings: hot, cold and tequila.

4> The DVD player makes up for the fact that your shower can only fit in one person at a time.

3> By watching porn instead of imagining it, you can finish showering three minutes faster.

2> It may still be a communal shower, but thanks to the big screen, no one’s checking out my package.

and the Number 1 Perk of Having Your Shower Pimped…

1> The combination of massaging shower heads and strategically placed Webcams means none of you will ever have to pay tuition again.




.

Credits:

Selected from 36 submissions from 11 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Laurie Northrup, Syracuse University — 1, 5 (3rd #1!)
Guy Payne, Auburn University — 2
Mark Sweatt, Student Emeritus, Atlanta — 3
Gary Reynolds, Indiana University — 4
Jeff Lawley, University of Southern Mississippi — 6
Brandon Eldridge, St. Louis College of Pharmacy — RA on Duty



RUNNERS UP list — Z-AXED

Increased head room.
(Kevin van Houten, Texas, University of Texas)

The wing makes it faster.
(David J. Ludwig, CSU San Marcos)

Wait, our house has a shower?!
(Jeffrey Anbinder, Cornell University)

“WARNING! WARNING! FLOUNDER’S PEEING IN THE SHOWER AGAIN! WARNING!”
(Guy Payne, Auburn University)



HONORABLE MENTIONS list — Soap Scummed

A special loop of the soundtrack to “Psycho” for hazing pledges who are taking showers.
(Guy Payne, Auburn University)

Flatpanel HDTV behind glass? Check.
Kick-ass stereo and huge speakers? Check.
Room for my girlfriend? Uh-oh.
(Erik Deckers, Ball State University)

Now all I need is a waterproof HDTV for porn and my masturbatorium will be complete.
(Erik Deckers, Ball State University)

Who wouldn’t want to take a shower with Xzibit?
(Lou Magelowitz, University of Nevada in Las Vegas)