September 29th, 2006



The Top 7 Least Successful
Bribes to Offer a Professor


7> “How about if I actually study?”

6> Generally anything “edible” from a student hoping to pass is a bad idea.

5> “Pass me, or I’ll start wearing turtlenecks.”

4> “If I get an F my dad will spank me. If you give me a C, you can spank me.”

3> Pogs.

2> “If I quit farting in class will you pass me?”

and the Number 1 Least Successful Bribe to Offer a Professor…

1> “Here’s my autographed poster of Kenny G.”




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Credits:

Selected from 34 submissions from 8 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Mark Sweatt, Student Emeritus, Atlanta — 1, 2, 4, 5, 6, 7 (Triple Sec!/8th #1!)
Sayce Falk, Cornell University — 3
James Knowles, Cal Poly — Topic
Brandon Eldridge, StL College of Pharmacy — RA on Duty



RUNNERS UP list — Here Comes the Bribe

“Does a donation from Ms. Sacajawea change your mind?”
(Gary Reynolds, Indiana University)

Mr. Universe’s Powerlifting Tips and Tricks, 1992 Edition.
(Sayce Falk, Cornell University)

Promise to hold his legs every time he does a keg stand from now on.
(Sayce Falk, Cornell University)


Runners Up list name
(Derek Matheis, University of New Haven)