August 10th, 2007



The Top 8 Items on the
College Back-to-School List


8> If you eat at the college cafeteria: twelve rolls of antacids. If you do your own cooking: twenty rolls of antacids.

7> Any poster that has pictures of scantily clad women, alcohol, or John Belushi.

6> Keys to the new locks put on all the classrooms by your dad’s friend’s company.

5> The iPhone upgrade: I scan my assignment, the phone looks up an applicable paper on line, and automatically bills my folks’ VISA card.

4> A condom, to replace the one degrading in your wallet since freshman year.

3> Christmas Break is 132 days away, so 132 pairs of underwear. Well, better make it 133 just to be safe.

2> Can I go ahead and pre-pay for a year supply of penicillin?

and the Number 1 Item on the College Back-to-School List…

1> Mom’s car, dad’s credit card, and a garbage bag full of Doritos.




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Credits:

Selected from 28 submissions from 9 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Derek Matheis, University of New Haven — 1 (3rd #1!)
Mark Sweatt, Student Emeritus, Atlanta — 2
Rabbi Crut, BGSU — 2, 3
James Knowles, Cal Poly — 4, 8
Bill Wickart, Hillsboro, OR — 5
Jeff Rabinowitz, Temple University — 6
John Shurniak, University of Regina — 7
Douglas Frank, West Texas A & M University — Banner tag
Brandon Eldridge, StL College of Pharmacy — Dean of Students