NOTE FROM DANNY:

Last week, the graduating class at prestigious
Dartmouth College got the chance of a lifetime to
hear a legend, nay, a god speak during their
ceremony. Sadly, he cancelled and they had to
settle for PBS’s kids show host Fred Rogers of
“Mister Rogers Neighborhood.” Hilarity ensued.

The Top 7 Highlights of Mr. Rogers’s
Commencement Speech at Dartmouth College

7> Gives shout-outs to King Friday and Trolley.

6> Overheard backstage as Mr. Rogers goes over his speech: “Won’t you be my….dammit, LINE!”

5> Under his gown? It’s a pretty kinky neighborhood.

4> He finally describes how Mr. McFeeley got his name.

3> “Let’s all go to the land of make-believe, where we can pretend your degree can get you a job in this sh***y-ass market.”

2> His Ozzy Osbourne impression, raw and uncensored.

and the Number 1 Highlight of Mr. Rogers’s Commencement Speech at
Dartmouth College…

1> “No matter how hard you work, you’ll never make as much as I did changing sweaters.”

.

Credits:

Selected from 23 submissions from 6 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Wade Kwon, Cornell University — 1, 2, 7 (Triple sec!)
G. Mike Klockow, Purdue University — 3
Steve Whitmore, Illinois State University — 4
Brent McDaniel, Georgia Tech — 5, 6
Danny Gallagher, UT Austin — List Moderator, RA
Spice 1, Byron, TX — Ambience