June 24, 2005     

The Top 7 College Characteristics
Most Likely to Shock Incoming Freshmen

7> In high school you need a car to get lucky.
In college you need a car to get to Taco Bell.

6> While you’ll still be a virgin at the end of the year, your T3
connection will keep you… um… busy.

5> With the placement of freshman parking lots, you may as well
walk. From your home state.

4> Dorm food will mix with your bodily fluids to produce a
chemical compound strong enough to burn straight through
porcelain.

3> Sleeping with an instructor is only good for a solid B in
college.

2> Freshman dudes finally get senior chicks, assuming they want
girlfriends who are in high school.

and the Number 1 College Characteristic Most Likely to Shock
Incoming Freshmen…

1> “What, you don’t take attendance?”

.

Credits:

Selected from 55 submissions from 13 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Mark Sweatt,
Student Emeritus, Atlanta — 1, 2, 7 (3rd #1)(Triple sec!)
Scott Witmer, Penn State U — 3
Nate Verbiscar-Brown, UCLA — 4, 6
Guy Payne, Auburn University — 5, Banner tag
James Knowles,
Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo — Topic
Brandon Eldridge,
St. Louis College of Pharmacy — RA on Duty