NOTE FROM DANNY:

Also, for those of you who are too busy reading
about useless events in the news like the Affleck-Lopez
breakup and the Iraqi war, a college kid contracted
scurvy because all he ate was junk food and all
he drank was Coke and Mountain Dew. Doctors say
he only got .1 milligrams of vitamin C
(about 1/1000 the recommended amount).

The Top 9 Bad Ideas for
Improving Your College Diet

9> You start pleading with the biology department for first dibs on their “table scraps.”

8> Go on Plan A, Anorexia. If Plan A doesn’t work, go to Plan B.

7> Applying the Subway-Jared diet to Domino’s.

6> Quad-lawn Squirrel should be broiled, never fried.

5> Get plenty of greens in your diet: Drink more Mountain Dew.

4> A Miller Light for breakfast, one for lunch and a sensible dinner.

3> The only Cream, Bread, Meatloaf, and Vitamin C you’ve purchased this semester are sitting in your CD rack.

2> Your version of the Atkins Diet involves cannibalism and Kevin Atkins from Dorm B.

and the Number 1 Bad Idea for Improving Your College Diet…

1> The liquid diet — and beer’s a liquid!

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Credits:

Selected from 28 submissions from 8 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

James E. Cooper, Upsala College — 1, 4, 7 (5th #1!)