The Top 8 Amazing
Reports by Campus Security

8> “Police canine being allowed to ’sleep it off’ after sniffing incident with student who had no drugs on his person, but who hadn’t bathed since before finals.”

7> “Encountered nutcase screaming about the Apocalypse. Upon speaking to him, we determined he was right. Proceeded to nearest church to confess sins.”

6> “Suspicious camera crew was promptly released after they promised that Security will receive an advanced copy of their upcoming film ‘Girls Gone Wild: Dorm Room Fantasies 5′

evidence.”

5> “Fraternity brothers peeled out of the parking lot, making lewd comments and gestures towards me. I turned on the siren and followed. After the sudden cessation of forward motion, I recalled that scene from ‘American Grafitti.’”

4> “Issued the citation because even the university president isn’t above the law, and nobody is allowed to park on the roof of the student union.”

3> “Feeled my partner had not been thorough enough, so I also frisked the cheerleader.”

2> “Sorority sister filed a stolen goods complaint with the university police claiming that the suspect stole her sense of style by ‘wearing the same eye shadow and belt’ as the complainant.”

and the Number 1 Amazing Report by Campus Security…

1> “Man mistaken for homeless beggar was simply Philosophy Major.”

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Credits:

Selected from 47 submissions from 12 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Scott Witmer, Penn State — 1, Topic (7th #1!)
Mark Dexter, George Washington University — 2
Guy Payne, Auburn University — 3, 4, 5 (Hat trick!)
Brett Campbell, Millikin University — 6
Josh Sinnett, University of Washington — 7
Kim Walker-Daniels, N. Illinois University — 8
Danny Gallagher, UT Austin — List Moderator, RA
NWA, Compton, CA — Ambience