April 4th, 2008



NOTE FROM BRANDON:
Law enforcement officials everywhere have
acknowledged the chance of an emergency
call going unanswered due to all
dispatchers being on other calls… probably
answering calls from College students.


The Top 7 Things Overheard
in a Collegiate “911″ Call


7> “Hi, it’s Brad at the frat house again. The usual, alcohol poisoning. No, not everyone, only twelve or thirteen this time. Okay, see you in five minutes.”

6> “Any idea if this guarantees me straight A’s?”

5> “Umm, when you get here, you’ll see he also must have accidentally stuck his face into some open black magic markers.”

4> “I didn’t think he’d actually *try* drinking 10 liters in 2 hours to break my made-up record.”

3> “Dude, I will send you a half pound of Extra Kind if you can send the Fire Department and the Ambulance but not the Fuzz.”

2> “How many marshmallows can the human rectum safely take?”

and the Number 1 Thing Overheard in a Collegiate “911″ Call…

1> “Why, yes, our police department will rush someone over immediately to help you relieve your life threatening case of the ‘munchies,’ and he’ll even bring his dog, Sniffy.”




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Credits:

Selected from 27 submissions from 9 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

James Knowles, Cal Poly — 1
Michele Lord, U of NE Lincoln — 2, 7
Gary Reynolds, Indiana University — 3
G. Griebenow, Potchefstroom University — 4
Randy Lee, West Point — 5
Mark Sweatt, Student Emeritus, Atlanta — 6
Brandon Eldridge, StL College of Pharmacy — Dean of Students



RUNNERS UP list — DNR

“Hello? Yes, there seems to be a problem of an unspecified nature in the girl’s dorm needing total evacuation. Yes, I know it’s 3AM. No, I’m not making this up.”
(Jeff Rabinowitz, Temple University)

“If you send an ambulance, can you get that really hot EMT to give me mouth-to-mouth?”
(Jim Phynn, Georgetown University)

“Since I am with him, can you write me an excuse from my Econ exam?”
(Mark Sweatt, Student Emeritus, Atlanta)

“Yes, I said 84 goldfish. Now, will you please send the paramedics?”
(Jeff Rabinowitz, Temple University)


Runners Up list name
(Randy Lee, West Point)